Friday, May 5, 2017

More jokes about animal



##A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. 
He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night? "
 An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too. "



##A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in. "Get a load of her " said the mouse, "what a babe! " 
"Well, why not try your luck? " replied the lion. 
So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and into the night. 
The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. 
The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right? " 
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I've never had a night like it! "
 "But how come you look like you're so exhausted? " asked the lion.
 "Well " said the mouse, "between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles! "




##A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. 
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk Bu KKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit... "



##A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stop sat the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands,he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal. " "No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream. "
 

 
 

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