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Monday, May 1, 2017

animal jokes

1. "I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf. ""Bullshit, watch this... Rover sit! Oh dear, you're right, I'll get the shovel and clean it up! " 

2. "What's the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper. "The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick. "This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size. " 

3.  15. Angelfish Cake14. Hamster and Cheese on Rye13. Chow Chow Mein12. Bran Muffy11. Eggs Benji Dict10. Yorkieshire pudding 9. Shih-Tzu Kabobs 8. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket 7. Shrimp Cockatiel 6. Fettucine Al Fido 5. Chicken Poodle Soup 4. Turtlellini 3. Lhasa Thermidor 2. Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas 1. I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes

4. 9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy. " 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt. recreational. catnip. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about their release of "Cyber Dog. " 4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 3. You keep finding new software around your house like Catin Tax and War Cat II. 2. On IRC you're known as the Iron Mouser. and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password... 1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post."

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