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Monday, May 8, 2017

Fun with woman part 3

1.
How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart? How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?  When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me.  .. "


2.
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked."Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.""You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested."Sectional, schmectional. All I want is an occasional piece in the living room."




3.
Why do female parachutists wear tampons? Why do female parachutists wear tampons? So they don’t whistle on the way down.  ..




4.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?  What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?You can unscrew a light bulb!




5.
Manly signs "Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors offfice. "Ithink I’m turning into a man" then the doctor says, " Now hold onlittle lady what makes you think that you're turning into a man?" "Well" said the woman "I’m starting to grow hair on my chest" and thenthe doctor asked, " Well then, how far down your chest is your hairgrowing? " and then she replied, "All the way down to my dick".




6.

Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror... Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates.  .. "I know you haven’t been getting much lately.  ..  but I didn’t know you were so worried about it!"





7.
You know why there is a string on a tampon?  You know why there’s a string on a tampon? So the crabs can bungee jump.




8.
A woman asks the hardware store clerk... "Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk. "Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?" "If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn’t need the batteries."




9.
Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist... Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I’m going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don’t think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"




10.
What is that white stuff you find in the bottom of girls undies? What’s the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies? Clitty litter.




11.
How can you tell if you are at a bulemic bachelor party?  How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.




12.

Yeah, fat broads are like...  Yeah, fat broads are like mopeds. They're fun to ride, but you don’t want your friends to see you on one.




13.
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks "What’s that?" Her sister replies "That is my possum, sis!" The young girl replies "Oh, OK" The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing at her pussy again asks "What’s that?" Her mother replies "That’s my possum!" The young girl again replies "Oh, OK" The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and once again pointing at her pussy asks "What’s that?" The grandmother replies "That’s my possum!" The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?" The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do you ask?" The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is sticking out!"




14.
A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?" The woman says, "No, but I’ll blow you for the toaster."





15.
A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?" Son, "Well, before?" Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son." Son, "well what about after?" Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"


Continue to fun with woman part 4 

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